The logistics of planning a gay or lesbian wedding ceremony are a little bit different than setting it up for a heterosexual bride and groom because there is a century of etiquette that dictates the rules of how that works. Gay and lesbian couples are left to make it up as they go along — and that isn't a bad thing! It actually gives brides and grooms the option to do whatever they want without anybody saying they're breaking the rules, but it can still raise some questions if you don't plan ahead for exactly what you want to do. You can assign sides hanging a cute sign on the back of the chairs in the back row if you're not using ushers , or you can keep it an informal "everybody is welcome to sit anywhere except the front row" kind of ceremony. If you want to assign sides, just pick a side.
Wedding planning can be dizzying to navigate for any couple, but we realize there are a few unique circumstances when it comes to planning a same-sex wedding. Do you wear matching outfits? Do you get to have a bachelor or bachelorette party? Gay, straight, or otherwise, all weddings come with a certain amount of expectations from friends, family, and on-lookers. Tough as it may be, we really encourage you to try to silence that noise and focus on what matters most to you as a couple.
I was a child of divorce, which made me stand out in my conservative Midwest hometown. I was also gay and the minute I realized that, my dreams of having the chance of a marriage — much less the wedding of my dreams — pretty much disappeared. A lot of people have their dream weddings in mind even before they necessarily find their spouse.